last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize