There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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