I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
