Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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