I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I will pee on everything he values.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
