I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
