They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
