So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
