He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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