Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
