so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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