ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
