I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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