why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
