His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
