i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
This girl is more easily done than said...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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