So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
