If i come over, it means nothing
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Randomize
