Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Randomize