just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
