just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
worst night to have a conscience
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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