Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
