I need help removing her.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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