I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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