i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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