I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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