my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
