I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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