we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
