i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
It's never too late to be topless.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
