I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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