I want to walk on stilts...naked
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
