What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
