You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
