So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
time to smoke my breakfast
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
