i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
