the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize