there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize