we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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