half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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