Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
