What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
