is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
