The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize