I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize