And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
