he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize