very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
