He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
