I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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