does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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