He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
