I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
