READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Randomize
