Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
