he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
