i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
