I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
