nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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